Thursday, November 3

Shut up and think?

It's almost a week ago since I last wrote in my blog but I simply couldn't come up with something interesting to write about. I feel I have a responsability towards my blog readers to make my content readable and fun.
It's better to think about what you wanna write before you actually write it, otherwise it can turn out like this....

"-Hey, today I woke up and went to the bathroom. I almost tripped on my way there because I forgot to lift my feet, but I manage to reach the bathroom and you can never guess what I did in there? I brushed my teeth!! BEFORE I had breakfast!"

That wasn't SO interesting huh......?

I don't know how many times I've heard that I should think before I open my mouth?
A million times and every time someone tells me that, I actually shut up and start to think......

"-If I do shut up and think before I open my mouth I wouldn't be talking to you in the first place, I'm just being polite"

Maybe I should start to do that. Stop being so spontanius and plan my every conversation.
That would be fun because I would just be quiet and think for a long time about what to say and when I finally come up with what to say I wouldn't say it, because I wouldn't know if it was the right thing to say! See that's just confusing for me so I will continue with what I've always done. Talk before I think!

But....that rule doesn't apply to blogwriting. When you write in a blog you have to make sure that you've thought about what you wanna write before you actually write it................

Wanna have a warning example?

Take a look at the post that you've just read.....

Thursday, October 27

The "mystery" bag

The club next to ours were giving away commercial bags with sex toys tonite.

Everywhere you looked you could see these cute light blue bags. The fun part is that last time it happened approx. 9 months ago everyone went crazy for these bags including me. People always go bananas over free stuff and when it's sex toys on top of, even worse. Anyway this time wasn't different at all.
As soon as we saw these bags we started to ask around and in the end of our shift one employee after another came out from the club with a light blue bag containing 1 vibrator, I erection ring, 3 condoms, 1 pair of dices (an erotic game) and a pair of loveballs (for a woman's pleasure and u can put them where u like also in the nostrils if they are big enough. I don't know what good that would do but still. The weird part is "Why do we all go crazy when these bags arrive"?
We know what's in them (not really a mystery anymore) and we have the stuff already since last time and we work next to the big sex street and it's full of sex shops where you can buy everything and I mean everythang!! BUT...none of these things matter because AS SOON as we see these light blue bags walking the street we start the competition! "Get a blue bag, one for me ONE FOR ME!" -Hey Boss, can I please go get a sex bag....I'll be back
Last time I didn't get a penis ring though. My colleague stole it from me and said I had no use for it lol....but that doesn't matter.

It's a principle!

"You do not steal from my mystery bag with sex toys that I already have and don't really need but still got for FREE" :D

Greedy, greedy, greedy!


Sometimes a Shiny Silver Spoon meets a fork and not just any fork.
A fork that goes very well with the spoon. A Shiny Silver Fork!

The Fork makes the Spoon happy and even though the Spoon is a bit round the Fork likes it and compliment the Spoon's convex side. The Fork got sharp edges and that excites the Spoon.

This particular Spoon I'm talking about has been in the cattlery box too long and had to lay next to all sorts of cattlery like "knives" that turned out to be all wrong.
Pointy and too uptight, not even sharp.

Then there was this "stirrer" that was all over the place and just made a mess of everything.

The worst times though for the Spoon was all the dirty cattlery and I'm not talking about some unpolished silver here. I mean real dirty like repulsive and filthy cattlery that tried to come close to the spoon and that made the Spoon uncomfortable.


It wasn't just all bad in that cattlery box.

No, the Spoon actually had some good times with a few butter knives that covered the Spoon in grease once in a while.
The Spoon kept mostly to itself and looked at other spoons and their forks, knives and stirrers and wondered if it one day would have what all the other spoons had!

But all of that was before Shiny Silver Fork......

He gives Shiny Silver Spoon..

............good Forking...............

She gives Shiny Silver Fork..

............good Spooning.............

Ps. Don't say Forking quickly cuz that would make my post dirty and I wanna keep it polished ;)

Best wishes

Shiny Silver Spoon

My second baptism 2008

-I give all of my power to God and I'm now clueless to everything like a newborn baby..
I thank him for my courage and my strong will. There's actually nothing I can't do when I have him on my side. I shall see today and tomorrow and next week trough open eyes and never question his good will and all the power that he gloryfies! God is my umbrella in a rainy world!


Valentines day 2009

Is this day a day of joy or sorrow? Is this day made up for the commercial sector just so they can make extra money from people in love, or is it simply made up because we should'nt forget our loved ones? Well it doesn't matter how we wanna see this day. The fact is that this day is a fork in single womens eyes.

What if you think about that special person you have in your heart but can't talk to him. What Kind of impact does this day have on you then? Should this day make you reflect over things you've done and not done when it comes to showing affection for that person? Should this day make you think about where you went wrong or make you realise that you simply did nothing wrong at all. We just weren't meant to be together

Something pulled us back together again and again but I doubt it was Cupid lol.

Didn't we have any understanding for eachother?

Wasn't there any love?

It's with great sorrow I write this letter but I feel I have too.

I'm trying to use this day as a reflection day so I wont end up in this situation again.

I wanna think about what went wrong and why and how I can prevent it from happening again.

How can I build up my strength from here, without becoming apathetic towards love and how can I move on without missing him too much? By just moving on and Find a new guy to love and care for. That will scare the shit out of me but I will jump and try to fly again.

I wish him the best and hope he's happy. I'm going to be. I loved him for the man he was and his faults and misstakes. Nobody's perfect and neither am I but one thing I know now is that you can choose if this is gonna be a day of joy or sorrow.

I chose sorrow but I'm changing joy.

I loved someone and I will again some day.......when the time is right! :)

Until then.....

I'll be great on my own!



From 2009

I've been wondering about dreams. Where do they come from? Why do they exist? Are they neccecary at all? Is not having any dreams a sign of having it all already or simply a realistic way of thinking. My conclusion is that dreams might not be dreams instead they might be goals you want fulfilled in life and you "dream" about them constantly to be reminded of which path to take.

Sometimes when the dreams are big and many it might be hard to focus and you'll get a feeling that you can't have it all! That shouldn't be the case. What you want is what you want and you shouldn't be forced to chose, not by yourself and certainly not by anyone else. Life is short but still long enough to maintain all the ingredients you need to live a happy and fulfilled life. If you only focus on one dream at the time, you'll see that things are starting to happen and a happier life is taking form.

My dreams are not exactly different from others. I grew up in a working family. My parents were married with 4 kids and we had a house, 2 cars and a dog. We were far from rich but we didn't miss anything in particular. I went to a small school in a tiny community where everone knew everyone.

I played with boys and climbed trees and made cars out of wood and scrubbed my knees and discovered my blood time and time again. I was also a little girl with dreams and read books about princes and princesses and white horses. I wanted to find my dreamprince, and become a thief who actually paid for stuff instead of stealing it. Lol.

I thought I was very inventive back then. 25 years later I might have a bit more knowledge and logic but still the same dreams. (Exept I don't wanna be a thief).

Little girls grow up with fairytales about how life look like and they truely believe that they are a tiny little helpless princess in a tower who's waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armour. (The girls are learning really fast though that it's not how life works so the go out in life and look for the right one instead of sit and wait.), or they screw it alltogether and concentrate on career.

Little boys are growing up learning that there's equality between boys and girls and that girls don't need to be rescued at all. So 20 years later boys are restless and play around with different girls cuz no one needs to be saved and the boys are getting confused.

The girls are still dreaming about that special one who shall come and make their lives complete and while they're waiting theyre playing around with the confused boys.

When a girl find that special one among all the boys, she needs to be very careful. Prince's IRL don't want girls to step forward. They want them to sit quiet in a tower and wait for the prince to take the first fairytales.

It's just that the towers are empty. The princess'es are out having fun with prince's and they dance and fight for eternity cuz both sexes are so confused and messed up because they don't know their places anymore??

What I'm gonna do with my dream?? Haha...I don't know! I'm confused and messed up so I'll probably continue with the dancing and fighting until I die.

With no strings attached or the right one finds me one day and our compatibility is 100%. Who knows?

Blog is up and running again, first post in 2 years!

I'm not even gonna go into all the stuff that happened since last time I blogged but I will mention the important shit. I guess you could say that I have a new life or at least a different one then before. I've changed location and job. I now live in Hamburg with a friend sharing appartment and bills. It's ok, a bit small though but I am not gonna live in it forever so it's good for now.

What else is new? My job...right! I work as a security supervisor in a club on Reeperbahn/Hamburg. 2 clubs actually but it's the same owner so I only have one boss (pheew) ;)
I love my job even though it's hard sometimes but i guess it's the same thing for everyone.

I'm 32 years old but i feel older and younger than that. (Don't ask) it's complicated.
I'm a woman with hopes and dreams like everyone else I suppose and I live one day at the time.
If there's something I've learned from life it's that the further ahead you look the longer time it takes until you get there, if you ever get there at all!

I'm gonna be honest and a bit open in this blog but i wont share too many of my intimant thoughts. That would just be weird. The reason to why I have a blog is simply because of myself. I need to write, every single day to feel good and get shit out of my system. I'm a complicated person but aren't we all?! This blog is probably gonna be very boring because I have serious problems with getting "naked" and write about juicy stuff. I usually keep all of that to myself so people only know approx. 5% of the real me.